And yesterday was another day of cookies. A friend of mine was celebrating her birthday with a cookie making party. I was a little fearful of going... not because of who was going to be there... that was probably the reason I wanted to go the most! But having all the cookies there looking at me. Watching my every move and jumping in front of me, tempting me. It wasn't tempting as in "oh no, I am being bad". It was more like "oh no, I really don't want to feel like crap at the end of the day. I can feel the sugar surging thru my body, and I don't want that!". So I went with my a recipe for gluten free bars so I could have a small treat. I really didn't have too much of a struggle. Maybe this is getting easier after all. The smells where yummy. The cookies looked fantastic. And knowing what those cookies could do to my stomach was enough. So I made my bars, tried one and was pleasantly surprised. It as really good! It had bananas in it, so that was my "sugar" and made them sweet. It was perfect. I can tell my taste buds are changing too as I can't handle overly sweet things anymore.
The last thing I got out of this is realizing it's not about beating myself up over anything. With any "diet" I have ever done, it was always a guilt thing. "Don't eat this because you will be bad if you do!"... "You cheated? How dare you!"... It was more of I didn't want to feel, physically, horrible. What a great change of attitude. Because this is not a temporary thing. This is a life change. I can't go the rest of my life beating myself up if I "slip" up. I think this was the best thing that I had on my side yesterday.
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